What a Kitchen Makeover Taught Me
From home-improvement to self-improvement in five steps.
(This post has been updated from its original version, published on 11/13/21.)
Where’s the can opener?
What happened to my cutting boards?
Can we just order out tonight?
These were the questions heard around our house two years ago. After 24 years in our home, the time to remodel our kitchen had arrived. I wasn’t sad to say goodbye to my permanently stained sink and the faucet spraying in every direction. I was eager to have the hinges replaced so I could stop trying to close that cabinet door that repeatedly popped back open. New countertops and painted cabinets would do away with worn-out and damaged ones.
Although the process was easier than building our house in 1997—I was pregnant with child #3 and had no Houzz or Pinterest to consult—it was still a ton of work!
The project also exposed several routines and habits. When I reached for a glass and the cabinet was gone, I was aware my habits had become second nature. When, for the 14th time, I opened the silverware drawer and found it empty, I knew I’d become a robot of sorts.
It made me wonder how many other daily activities were being dictated by habit. Were they good or bad habits? Could a shake-up, a makeover, or a complete remodel improve my daily habits and my life as well?
Three areas—our health, relationships, and spiritual lives—often fall short of our ideals. Approaching self-improvement like a home improvement in any of these areas can help us accomplish our remodel. Making over any aspect of our lives can be an all-consuming journey. But taking it step by step, we’ll love the end result!
Five steps for remodeling our homes and improving ourselves.
Dream and plan.
We would have never ripped out our old sink and broken faucet without first picturing the final outcome. We called professionals for estimates. Knowing what we could afford and projecting timelines helped us determine what we could handle.
Same goes for other areas of our lives. Changes will come more easily when we can envision outcomes, consult experts (e.g. self-help books, health coaches, therapists, pastors, or spiritual directors), and formulate a plan. Fitness clubs and weight loss plans can cost money, but free options are available as well. Will a book help our relationships, or do we need an intensive marriage retreat or family counseling? Spiritual growth requires a time commitment as well. If we intend to reach our goals, our resources must fit into our budget of time and money. With a plan in place, it’s time to dive in!
Out with the Old.
The more duplicate utensils, unused gadgets, and broken baskets I purged before our project started, the better off I was. Facebook Marketplace and Goodwill became regular go-to’s for me as I released items that no longer brought me joy. Emptying the old pantry, I found expired peanuts, stale crackers, and 4-year-old cake mixes I tossed into the trash.
In our health, relationships, and spiritual lives, are we stashing extra trash? Are there false messages from our past to shake off? Do temptations or excuses keep us from moving forward? What daily habits can we purge to allow room for new ones? “Atomic Habits” by James Clear*, a book I need to revisit myself, helps with both breaking bad habits and starting good ones.
*This is an affiliate link. If you go here to make a purchase I will earn a commission. I post the link because I have tried and valued the product and not because of the commission I receive.
Reveal the Dirt and Chaos.
When was the last time you pulled your stove or fridge away from the wall? Based on the number of dust bunnies, crumbs, and other “goodies” we found, I’d guess we hadn’t moved ours in years. Taking off our cabinet doors for painting revealed messy storage areas. I decided the nakedness of the “open concept” kitchen was not for me!
If we are going to improve our health, relationships, or spiritual well-being, there’s a good chance we might find some hidden dirt and chaos. Becoming vulnerable with a trusted friend or advisor is often the best way to get motivated for change and boost accountability. “Coming clean” about filth we’ve swept under the rug will move us toward the freedom to change.
Transitions are Hard.
Even though I was excited about the promise of a new kitchen, getting there wasn’t easy. First, we moved the pantry contents out. Then we moved them back in. Next, we cleared off the countertops. When the painter came for the doors and drawers, we boxed up everything! Besides all this shuffling, there were countless texts and emails with questions, unexpected issues, and decisions to be made.
Let’s face it. It often seems easier to live with the status quo than to take on a life-improvement project. But, is it really? If the status quo makes you short of breath every time you climb stairs, that’s not an easy life. If the way things are results in arguments, dysfunctional lifestyles, or general unhappiness, you’re not living your best life. Without a daily practice of time with God, you’ll be less likely to draw upon the Holy Spirit for strength in times of trouble. Transitions and change might be hard, but the results will beat your status quo!
In with (and maintaining) the New.
It took months, but we finally had a new kitchen! I once again had peaceful evenings with no workers traipsing in and out. But was the work finished? Hardly. Keeping my kitchen functioning at its best takes maintenance. Putting away clutter, wiping down counters and sinks, throwing out expired foods, cleaning the fridge—daily attention is key to an organized, well-functioning kitchen, whether old or new.
Likewise, we’ll never finish the work of self-improvement. I wish losing weight was “one and done,” but my life has been a constant battle of yo-yo diets and fat jeans vs. skinny jeans. Healthy habits must continue.
To maintain our 35-year marriage, my husband and I have attended various marriage retreats, taken parenting classes, and read books. Relationships need regular tending.
On our spiritual journeys, we can never stop our efforts to grow closer to God. There are always new ways to deepen our relationship with him. Daily connection with God deepens our spiritual lives.
I know I still have plenty of work to do! What about you? What areas of your life need a makeover? Need more self-improvement suggestions? Check out some of my previous posts for more tips!
Health:
Goals: What Riding and Writing Have Taught Me, Part 1
Goals: What Riding and Writing Have Taught Me, Part 2
Relationships:
Keeping the Spark Alive: Five Secrets to Empty Nest Love
Sisters: Knitting Love and Comfort in Good Times and Bad
Spiritual Journey:
Pay Attention! Don’t Miss the Good Stuff
Life Under the Permacloud: In Search of the Light
Permission to Retreat: Finding Rest in A Work-Centered World
Pencil Marks on the Doorframe and Other Signs of Growth
I'm sure you've noticed when setting up another kitchen in your cabin that you have habits that carry over from one kitchen to another. I have definitely noticed what a creature of habit I am, so I am trying to develop/maintain good habits as we snowbird in Mexico.