Another Chapter, Hook, and Plot Twist in the Sauntering Life

On Slow Reading and Attentive Living

In celebration of our daughter Chloe’s graduation from U-W Madison with a master’s degree in library and information studies, I’ve updated a story I first wrote three years ago. You can find the original story (with lots of photos) HERE.

The Slow Reader

A friend of mine read 103 books in 2020. I read twelve. There are many reasons my number was in the 10s and not in the 100s. But the excuse I most often give is “I’m a slow reader.” 

I wish I could zip through books like some of my friends. But alas, my way with words is a sauntering way. 

Despite my snail’s pace, there’s a thing that pushes me on in my reading. It’s what writers and avid readers know as “the hook.” I may drudge through a chapter, about to drift off to sleep, when I come upon that last sentence. If the author closes with a great hook, I have to turn the page. I can’t wait to see what happens next.

Chapters of a Life

The stages of our lives are much the same. As kids, we can’t wait to reach our next milestone. We graduate from kindergarten, grade school, middle school, and finally high school. Each new chapter promises to bring more excitement to the plot than the last. 

Some stages are so good we don’t want them to end. That’s how I felt after four years of college. I proceeded to grad school, stretching out the fun and frenzy of my college days. But after two more years, I’d had enough of book learning. And since I had also found my soulmate, I was ready to turn the page.

On to the next chapter with great anticipation! 

We were married by the following year and entered the “kidless couple” stage of our lives. It was one of the shortest chapters in our marriage, lasting only three years. The next part—raising a family—has been the longest. From the time our first child was born until our fourth child flew the nest was 26 years. At that point, our kids’ stories were more thrilling than our own and we became engrossed in these new narratives. 

I can still picture the day we sent the first one off to college. He was so pumped. And jittery. We were the same. He had so much ahead of him and was ready to take on the world.

But where did that leave me? I had spent eighteen years caring for, teaching, and raising this child. I was his advisor and biggest cheerleader. And then, as fast as you can say “Meet me at the dining hall” it was all over. He was off and gone. I didn’t want the chapter of “My Boy at Home” to end. I mourned the end of this part of my story. For nearly two weeks, at some moment during my day, I would shut myself in the bathroom to cry.

Endings or Beginnings?

It felt like the beginning of the end. The end of a long, but lovely story with plot twists and villains, victories and defeats. The story of my being a mom. I told myself this was the happy ending I had hoped for. So why didn’t it feel happy?

With apprehension, I turned the page and continued the chronicle in which my children, one by one, left home. Each time, my husband and I were one step closer to being alone. 

Despite my reluctance to move on with this story, I was surprised to discover a major plot twist. Who would have expected the story to get better? Oh, there were still melancholy moments. But being empty nesters brought freedom we hadn’t experienced since that first brief chapter of our marriage. Relationships with our young adult children emerged and blossomed as we related to them in a whole new way. 

Before Another Plot Twist (written Spring, 2021)

Our story continues. We recently sent our baby off to college again. Our last child. Her final year. Her last semester. In fact, we will have our final two college graduates this spring. I assumed the finality of it all would hit me hard. How could I face the end of this lively and stimulating chapter? Having kids in college gave us a new set of experiences: meeting roommates (and their parents) from all over the country, parents’ weekends, football games, and concerts. It’s all coming to an end.

I’ll no longer be a “college mom.” Just like I am no longer a preschool mom, a soccer mom, a band mom, or a high school senior mom. Those chapters of my life were great while they lasted. But at some point, I had to turn the page. And now I’ll turn another. 

Watching our kids move on to the next chapter of their lives brings part of our story to a close. But if we didn’t want them to move on, why would we have started this story in the first place? It’s why we filled out FAFSA forms, floated them loans, moved them in and out of their dorms umpteen times, and replied to their stressed-out text messages. 

Their time in college was never the end of the road. It was only the end of their beginning. Now begins an exciting new phase of their journeys.

A Twisting Plot, New Characters, and the Story Goes On (Spring of 2024):

Little did I know when I wrote that part of the story in 2021, that after working in our local library for a year, our youngest would make me a college mom again! She enrolled in graduate school to become a librarian. This weekend, we had the joy of attending another graduation! 

Maybe my college mom days are really over now. But who knows? You just can’t tell what the next chapter will be while the book is still being written!

Our tale of two people has grown into a saga of six. And then seven. And now eight and nine, including two new young characters who have opened their own books. 

I can’t wait to see what happens next. But I’m not rushing to turn the page.

Instead, I’ll live these days much as I read. I’ll saunter through, taking in every word, every passage of dialogue, every period, question mark, and exclamation point. I’ll let the meaning sink in and relish in it. And even when my eyes well up with tears, I’ll find threads of joy running through this story.